As a neurodivergent person, I've struggled with social exhaustion. Learn how I've managed my social battery, set boundaries, and prioritised self-care. Discover strategies that might work for you too.
As a neurodivergent person, I've often felt exhausted after even the simplest social interaction. This experience, commonly referred to as "social exhaustion," is a result of my brain and its unique processing and response to social stimuli. My social battery is limited and drains very quickly in social situations.
Having a social battery that feels so much shorter than everyone else's can feel incredibly isolating. I want to be friendly and social, but I often find myself hitting my limit after just an hour or two. Then, I have to do my impersonation of a hermit crab and it takes me days to recover. Spoon theory comes into play regarding how fast my battery depletes, I only have a certain number of spoons and social interactions can use them up quickly.
What is a Social Battery?
A social battery is a metaphorical concept used to describe the fluctuating energy levels people experience during social interactions. It's akin to having a finite amount of energy that can be depleted or recharged. For neurotypical people, social interactions can often recharge their social battery. However, for many neurodivergent people, social situations can drain their energy rapidly.
While not a literal biological construct, the concept of a social battery is grounded in neuroscience. Some of the neurological factors that may contribute to differences in social batteries include:
Neurotransmitter Imbalances:
Brain Structure and Connectivity:
Differences in Brain Regions: Studies have shown that individuals who are autistic may have differences in the amygdala, a brain region involved in emotional processing. This can affect their ability to understand and respond to social cues.
Connectivity Issues: Differences in connectivity between brain regions can also impact social cognition and emotional regulation.
It's important to remember that these factors can interact in complex ways, and the impact on social batteries can vary significantly from person to person. It's also important to recognise the complex interplay of psychological, environmental, and cultural factors that shape our social experiences.
Social exhaustion can have a significant impact on the mental, emotional, and physical well-being of neurodivergent people. In my experience, it can often lead to:
Increased irritability: Feeling drained and overwhelmed can make it difficult to manage emotions, leading to increased irritability.
Burnout: Chronic social exhaustion can contribute to burnout, a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion.
Heightened anxiety: The stress of social interactions can trigger anxiety symptoms in neurodivergent individuals.
I've learned that understanding my social battery is key to managing my energy levels and avoiding burnout. Just like any battery, mine needs to be charged and conserved.
Here are some strategies I've found helpful:
Setting boundaries: I've learned to say "no" to social events when I know I'm feeling overwhelmed. This helps me conserve energy for activities that are truly important to me.
Prioritising downtime: Scheduling regular breaks between social activities allows my social battery to recharge. This might mean spending time alone, engaging in a hobby, or simply resting.
Being selective: I've become more mindful of the social environments I choose. Opting for settings that are less sensory-intensive or more familiar can help reduce the strain on my social battery.
Practice self-care: Prioritising self-care activities. This will look different for everyone but I like learning to draw on Procreate and getting lost in a good tv show (Gilmore Girls is tried and tested!)Â
Communicate your needs: This is something I am still learning how to do but letting friends and family know about your social battery and the challenges you face can help, hopefully they will understand more and be supportive.
Set realistic expectations: You know how much you can handle. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be social all the time. It's okay to take breaks and prioritise your own needs.
Everyone's social battery is different. What works for me might not work for you. The key is to experiment and find things that help you conserve your energy and avoid burnout.
Recognising the limits of my social battery has helped me develop strategies to manage my energy and my spoons more carefully.
If you feel like you have a social battery that depletes quicker than you can charge it, remember you're not alone.
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